If someone had told my bright eyed 17 year old self all the things I’d encounter during my parenting journey , I probably would have rolled my eyes at them , laughed in that confident teenage know it all manner and figured the person speaking to me was exaggerating.
After all how hard can it be to raise a human right?
Now , almost every young adult who ever encountered a small tragedy, divorce or some other life event during their teen years inevitably had bad parents.
(Because all parents are eventually hated and labeled as “THE WORST PARENTS EVER” until our kids have teens of their own or experience the harsh realities of life)
But I digress, my reason for explaining this is the very real situation of my first glam- baby.
A sweet little girl who we get to meet in October but whose parents are clearly clue-less. ( well in my wisdom)
How do you explain to the young parents just how difficult the adjustment from being carefree and selfish to always having to put someone else first can be?
How do you explain the exhaustion…constant exhaustion in those first few months? The hours of no sleep . The constant broken nights of crying babies. Getting up 4 times to warm a bottle or feed a demanding baby.
How do explain that mommy isn’t rushing in to do it for you … it’s not like homework . You can’t ignore the baby or shove it onto someone else. You are now the mom/ dad you have to think enough to do what baby needs.
How do explain how fast your mind needs to mature? How do you explain that as a parent you think for your child first and often do things that you hate or don’t want to just to ensure the well being of your child?
How do you explain how much you worry ….about everything. The colour and smell of the poo, are you doing things right, why baby is crying ?
How do you explain that babysitting is not an equivalent to birthing and growing a little human? In babysitting you give the baby back.
How do you explain how messy it is ….everything. From birth it’s blood, leaking boobs, poop and vommit. Then when you get used to to that it’s illness, weaning to solids and dirty clothing.
How do you explain that just when you master a phase that baby is going through , your baby enters a new phase and you feel you failing all over again?
How do you explain how hard it can be to adjust to a relationship with a baby? How babies don’t fix problems but can add extra stress? How do you explain that you need to learn to parent together and sharing can be hard?
How do you explain that your baby doesnt deserve the toxic issues of your past or your families cycles? How do you explain that only you as a parent can change that ?How do you explain how important that influence is and why you need to be the parent you always wanted?
How do you explain how many times your heart will break? How often your growing child will hate you but most importantly how do you explain the unconditional love you will feel for this tiny helpless human that will spin your world out of control.
If you thought the teen years were hard, just wait until you need to watch your child enter their own parenting journey.
Mothers ….we never stop worrying